Tuesday, February 24, 2009

one good laugh

My friend Sandy has always made me laugh. Laugh hard. And, laugh in the face of irony that would lead to despair in a lesser person. I love laughing with her. The truth is I love laughing with anybody. Not silly laughter; real laughter.  The kind that has an inescapable truth to it; forged in a moment of realization that life is all about laughing in the face of danger. Or, at the very least stupidity. For all the people that made me laugh throughout my life... thank you.

Monday, February 23, 2009

as good as it gets

Nothing is the same as it was before my brain exploded. Many times I just feel lucky to be alive. But, whenever I am feeling down or frustrated I admit to worrying if this as good as it gets. I can't afford emotionally give up or give in to disability but sometimes it is a daunting task.  In a year's time I have had to re-learn how to talk, how to walk, and move my paralyzed right arm.  I've had endless amounts of rehab (most of it excellent) but having been told there was nothing more that physical therapy could (would) do for me, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I need to exercise. And do all the exercises that I can by myself. Waiting to get in to the University rehab program is a goal, but it's currently full.  Next summer, maybe. In the meantime, I wait. And try not to be frustrated.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

health care; a scary story

By all accounts, I had extremely good health insurance through my work at the University of Nevada. But even good coverage wasn't good enough to spare me from the horrific expense of having had a stroke.  I am forever reminded of what an "expense" I am every time I hear from a hospital, rehabilitation center, doctor, or dentist.  In spite of having very good health insurance I'm an "expense" that needs to be "managed." Much of that management has fallen on my brothers during the past year.  Michael and Morgan proved to a be an able tag-team of advocates involved in sorting out my life. Nonetheless, had known that I was going to be disabled I would have a better job of preparing.